I don't know how or when it happened, but i've become extremely antisocial lately. My home, and more specifically my room......although if we're gonna talk about specifics then i'd really have to narrow it down to my red chair which has great ass space......has become my sanctuary. The place where i read my books, meditate, plot world domination, watch tv, have sexual fantasies (yes, you don't ever want to sit in this chair!!!), play with my dog, have evil fantasies of all the people i can't stand (i know it's bad but i love doing this!!!), etc etc.
So i simply can't bare to leave it. And even if i do, i am constantly longing to be right back in it.
My antisocial behaviour first emerged when i started putting on so much weight and i was ashamed to be seen in public. As every chubby worth their double cheese burger would know, you somehow imagine that everyone is looking at you and secretly wondering what is the size of your arse, and if it got any bigger would it be considered another natural disaster! This paranoia is of course confirmed when you have morons who actually come up to you and comment that you've put on weight!!!
Words have not yet been invented to described such bastards so i will just call them rude, insensitive, uncultured fucking asswipes!
Doesn't quite do it justice, i know......
But by the time i got comfortable with the weight and more specifically couldn't give a rat's arse about how i looked, my arse and the chair had somehow fused together to form this one cohesive blob of friendship! In fact it's practically my soulmate! I became blissfully comfortable in this sanctuary of mine and refused to leave it. I would often make lame-ass excuses all the time so that i wouldn't have to meet with friends - i was sick, going out of the country, busy travelling, had another function etc etc (i don't wanna give away all the excuses since i still wanna use some of them....hee hee)
If you've been on the receiving end of these excuses...well....i realize i should apologize, but frankly i just can't be arsed to do even that!!
See! Total antisocial tendencies!
My close friends keep nagging me cos i don't bother going out anymore, but i'm happy, and shouldn't that be the point?? My favouritte thing to do on a friday night is to curl up in my chair and read a good book. Then on weekends there's the EPL and La Liga to look forward to. But somehow even though i am happy living in my shell, i somehow have this nagging feeling that this kinda behaviour is not really right. But i can't figure out why i feel that way! Our social programming i guess
But i suppose if i wanna get laid i actually have to leave my chair (unless i'm thinking of resorting to online matchmaking which i'm not desperate enough to do.....just yet) and go out into the big bad world.
One must always prioritize!
So from next year onwards, i guess i'll make more of an effort to be 'in the country' :)
Word of the day, need we even say it, is ARSE (a great word, i might add!)
