The Year That Was.....and The Year To Come...

This past year has without a doubt been the worst year of my life, with me being in a perpetual state of gloom and misery for practically every single day.

I used to think that nothing could erase the horridness that was 2005 when i was absolutely broke and didn't have a cent to pay for anything. When i had to live on bread for a whole year cos i had to literally count every penny. The year i started my PhD and was having anxiety attacks literally every single day cos every lecturer wanted to give us one assignment after another resulting in us having almost 5 assignments per paper for 5 papers, and having barely enough time to complete even one. The year i was going thru my break-up and had my first serious dance with the bitch called depression.

But this year kicks 2005's arse hands down!

But you know instead of calling it the worst year of my life, i think i'd rather call it the most 'revealing' year of my life. The year where i finally dealt with all the demons in my life. And instead of dwelling on everything that went wrong, i've decided to look (very hard) for the silver lining associated with each incident that happened.

It was the year that the love of my life, Michael Jackson, died.....on my birthday no less. To say i was shattered would be the understatement of the century. I was so very sure that i would meet him before either one of us died....but apparently that was not to be. And though his passing robbed us of one of the most talented human beings that ever walked this earth, it also made people finally realise what an extraordinary person he was. As usual.......people don't appreciate something till it's gone.

The year i patched things up with one of my oldest and dearest friends whom i love very much. A personal note to you : I don't know if i told you but i missed you very much during those years we were apart. And although it was a painful experience for the both of us, i think it had to happen cos we're so much stronger now as friends. You have always been one of the few whom i could pour my heart out to, and who has always been there for me, and words cannot begin to describe how very much i love you. And how glad i am that you are back in my life *muackz*

That experience then started off a chain-reaction with me patching things up with all the people i tend to ignore or avoid cos of some stupid or trivial thing. So in this year alone, i think i rekindled nearly a dozen lost friendships.


It was the year i was revisited by my old dance partner and became a version of myself which i absolutely loathed. But it ultimately became the absolute best thing that has ever happened in my whole 31 years of existence cos it made me look within for the first time and discover who i really am/was....something i'm still doing. But i've made a lot of progress over this past one year. And as much as i wonder why i had to go thru such misery, i know pain is a precursor to growth (something which, by the way, also makes me wonder why God is such a sadistic SOB!) so if anything, i'm trying very hard to be grateful for all the pain :p


The year that i almost drowned.
Being saved did not however make me have a new-found love for my own life or anything. But it did make me realise how things can happen when you least expect it. And that there is certainly a greater power looking out for me and who has plans for me. I remember when i related the story to V, he told me "Do you actually think that God would have put you through everything you went through this year only to take you away like that???!". And that was i think the final shove i needed to go down this spiritual path....a path i had rejected and run away from for the past 12 years!

But the Big Guy always gets his way. Remember that peeps....ALWAYS!!!! So don't bother resisting...it only causes more grief to you and gives you more ulcers :p

I also realised this year that i don't have to keep trying to be this strong person that i portray all the time. That it is ok to ask for help. It's ok to cry (although i must admit it's still painful just having to type that sentence!). It really doesn't make you weak. And the moment you think that 'this' is what you are, God will give you a swift kick in the arse to show you you're exactly not that.

Most importantly, it made me realise just what wonderful friends i have. I mean, my friends have always meant the world to me. But for the first time, i finally let them 'in' and i think i've become a lot closer to each one of them....if anything, i think this whole incident has made me seem more 'human' to them! LOL!!!

To my personal heroes.....Neela, Boobs, Prem, Kelvin, Gayathri, Lena Chi, Ram, Vicky, Prazz, Rachel, Priscilla etc etc......words escape me. So for now.....THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH

Vignesh : A big thank you for not just your presence in my life, but especially for introducing me to this lovely new 'world' and 'path' which has brought me much peace. I always feel so calm and peaceful when i'm around you, i wouldn't be surprised if you're a hop, skip and a jump away from reaching sainthood. I'm so very glad we met *hugs* and i do hope you meet Paula again *wink*

Dinesh : Where do i begin la. Ours has been a love-hate relationship that has spanned nearly 2 decades of our lives. I don't know what to say...how to say it...but i know that it would take me several lifetimes to repay you for all that you have been to me. For all that you have done for me. I honestly think if you were a psychiatrist, you would have made no less than a million from me by now! Like seriously! Thank you for everything.

And last but certainly not least to my blogger buddies......you guys have been my personal online agony-aunts not just this past year, but this past 2-3 years, and for that i am forever indebted to you guys. Here's to many more years of nonsense, madness and tequila (couldn't help it!)

Next year will be a very eventful year. I will finally be starting my research and will be taking my first big step down this spiritual path.
I will also be finally doing some 'other' things but that shall be revealed later *wink*.
I also have trips planned to India, Bangkok, Yogjakarta, Niah Caves, and Bandung. So there is much to look forward to......as well as much saving to do :(

Thank you for being part of my small world here at Boobyland and i hope you guys have a fantastic 2010

Happy New Year!

Much love.....Sabrina

Booby & Alcohol

So yes....everyone is still reeling in shock from the revelation that i have given up alcohol.

And quite frankly i'm also a little shocked!

I mean can i just point out that i am actually not much of a drinker. But the way everyone is reacting and going on and on about it, you'd think i carried one of those silver hip-flasks with me everywhere i went!

I mean i may talk passionately about tequila shots (and who wouldn't!) but i get drunk on one glass of baileys. Hell there was actually once where i got high from smelling my friend's brandy-filled fruit cake.
That's right...from smelling it!
It's a story that's still told to this day over and over again....very much, as you can imagine, to my despair and mortification.

And it's really only in this past one year that i've been drinkin quite a bit....yes i decided to dig deep into my Indian roots to help deal with the drama in my life :p

Anyway, there were a few events or circumstances that made me decide to cut-down on my alcohol intake.

The first i think was the sight of my credit card bill every month......Waikiki Too, Bar Savanh Too, Waikiki, Bar Savanh Too, Bar Savanh Too, Bar Savanh Too etc etc etc.
Nearly RM1000 every month for liquor and blow jobs! RM1000!

For the uninitiated, blow jobs are drinks. I'm not paying for sex. It hasn't come to that......yet...

And that made me feel so very guilty cos it made me think about all the hungry dogs and people around me. And so i made a decision to impose a spending limit....not more than RM100 a weekend.

Then i attended a program that somehow made me lose my taste for alcohol. So now everytime i think of alcohol, i actually feel nauseous. Then of course came the decision to go to India and as preparation for that, i decided to go vegetarian and stop drinking alcohol completely.

So, as you can imagine, Christmas was really 'fun' having to explain to everyone why i'm not drinking anymore and blah blah blah.

Can't wait to see how the New Year's party goes.......

Everyone is of course asking me if i'll still be non-alco once i return from India. And you know, i honestly don't know. I have no idea what state i'll be in after India....whether i'll be detached, insane, at peace, in total conflict.....i have absolutely no idea.

So we'll just all have to wait and see......

But rest assured, despite my teetotalism, that will certainly not stop me from preparing blow jobs and from making it my mission to get everyone absolutely plastered whenever we go out.
So fret not :p

G-Spot Amplification

I accidentally* stumbled upon this site

Supposed to be some collagen they inject to augment the g-spot so you get enhanced sexual arousal!

For the idiot men out there who are totally clueless, the G-Spot or Grafenburg Spot is the spot or area located on the women's vagina, that when stimulated, can lead to powerful orgasms.

Now there has been much debate over where the exact spot is but i personally feel that it is different for each woman.



But the point is, you better make it your business to find out your woman's g-spot cos once you do, there's a high likelihood you'll get return invitations.

Most men are just so totally clueless as to the workings and even the anatomy of the vah-jay-jay that they can spend hours 'working' a certain spot or a few spots when they really should have been doing all that at least 2 or 3 inches to the left! And it might only have taken them 10 mins tops to get the girl off. Honestly sometimes you don't know whether to smack the guy or to just fall asleep while he's at it.

A woman doesn't get 'off' just because you're caressing her there....just as with men where pressure, grip and speed (not necessarily fast) are vital, we need a certain rhythm to it....a certain kind of touch . Don't 'attack' us like you haven't eaten for months...but don't touch us in a way that conveys you're afraid you might catch an infection either.

See i would employ the same philosophy used in war.
Study every aspect of your opponent meticulously if you want to come out victorious. And of course here victory means pleasuring your partner to the point that he/she passes-out......out of sheer ecstasy.......and not how most men think where victory means getting yourselves off and in the quickest manner possible (i'm sure we've all been exposed to the 'minute-man'!!).

But i do concede that finding the elusive g-spot can be tricky. But i also think that once you find it and keep 'worshipping' at it, the return-rewards will be more than worth it.
We women like to show our gratitude in the most inventive ways possible *wink* :p

Good luck guys!

*i really don't go around looking for ways to amplify my g-spot...i swear!

Near Attempt...Near Disaster!

Ok so some of you guys noticed that i actually removed this post a week ago

Some of you also noticed that i was 'apparently' back on Facebook.......I'M NOT!

Din decided that i was moving too slow with the whole MPH guy thingy so he decided to use my profile, get on FB and make contact with the guy! So i am actually friends with him on FB now.

*Temporary hurrah!!!!*

But i suddenly realised, while out in penang town, that there is a link to my blog from FB.....so i drove home like an absolute maniac and immediately removed the post. Didn't want him to think i'm some sorta crazy stalker chick...which let's face it, i'm bordering on :p

But now of course i keep getting messages and invites from people, which is bloody jamming my inbox, so i've decided to, yet again, deactivate my FB. Plus i can't blog about him with it still active, so have decided this would be a better option.

FB is just such a pain in my arse anyway so i am better off with it being inactive

Oh and i do apologize if you thought it was me chatting with you....all in the name of fun....he meant no harm

But at least now the line has been placed......thanks Din *muackz*


p/s : While i'm typing this, my dad is watching Doraemon in the tv room! Can hear the damn song! I don't know which is more disturbing...that i recognize the damn song or that my 72-year old dad watches it!!!!!!

p/ss : There are a ton of parties going on today but have decided to stay at home, order pizza and watch a hindi movie with my mum instead :p

Happy Boxing Day!

Tis The Season To Be Jolly..........Hmmmmmmm....

Hola peeps.

Apologies for being AWOL......these past few weeks have been just absolutely mad, what with me having to rush off to kelantan for a few days (7 bloody hour bus ride in a bus that looked like it had been attacked by an army of rats with a bad case of PMS!), finishing my proposal and presenting it, and moving back home from penang.

And of course Xmas is upon us and so i've just been running around like a headless chicken buying all the decorations and sprucing up the house.

You know i usually don't go with a theme, but i suddenly have gold and purple curtains so i had to rush out and buy gold and purple decorations, and let me tell you what a pain in the arse it is trying to actually find purple-coloured decorations. And of course me being the anal-retentive person i am, it has to be a specific purple which makes it all the more fun!

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Did i tell you guys i'll be going to India in January? Will be going for a week to the ashram so in preparation for that i've give up meat and alcohol for the past 2-3 months.

And you know for my part, it really isn't an issue not drinking cos everytime i think about alcohol now, i actually feel nauseous....except when it comes to my Blow Jobs la which i do miss. As for meat, i do have occasional cravings especially now with McDonald's 'releasing' their Prosperity burger.......bastards!
But other than that, i have no issue at all

The thing that makes it hard is actually the people around you. I don't know why when someone is trying to change there must aways be these external 'forces' that try to bring you down.....i guess they're 'temptations' put in the way to test you and harden your resolve. But it just gets annoying when people keep taunting you about your choices. Some almost seem angry and annoyed that i have given up alcohol. Not once did i ever say that i am giving it up cos i find it sinful.....if anything i am always the little spawn of satan who is trying to get everyone wasted!

Then there are those who keep taunting me about my 'vegetarianism'......people who give me shit about eating soy-based meat cos to them that is not being a real vegetarian. Or about how it is bullshit that i can eat anchovies when it is a fish. And mind you, all these stupid comments come only from those who are not vegetarian. For the first few times it was ok....but when you go on and on about it it is just a bloody pain in my arse.

I mean why do you give a shit as to what i eat and don't eat. Drink and don't drink. Is your father selling chicken in the market and so is losing business because i've decided to stop eating meat? Did some soy-food manufacturing company cheat you and your family of billions through some MLM scheme? Will you develop an aneurysm if i am the only sober person in a room full of drunks?

I seriously doubt it

If i decided to eat meat every second Tuesday or eat meat for the first week of each month that would be my choice isn' it? How and where exactly is it hurting you?

If i were trying to make you guys give up meat and alcohol as well then i would totally understand the annoyance......hell i'd give you permission myself to string me up on a pole and shoot me in the knee caps. But since i'm not doing that at all, maybe it's about time you guys just left me and my choices alone cos it's is really getting annoying as arse.

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You know Xmas has never been one of my favourite times......shocking i know.

I mean don't get me wrong....i get all giddy and excited like a school girl with the decorations and trees and carols and stuff, but there are just such bad memories associated with this season. And everytime it comes around, i am half torn between feeling like a chipmunk on a sugar rush (although wait....is that redundant though since most of them could use a dart in the arse loaded with tranquillizer???!) and feeling absolutely miserable and 'afraid' that things might turn 'ugly'.

But you know what.......i think it's about time i stopped dwelling in the past and stated creating happy memories of my own. And this year i am determined to do just that! I will be surrounded by my family and friends whom i love to bits and have so much fun with so if anything, i'll toast to that.


I hope you guys have a fantastic Christmas as well




Merry Christmas!

Near-Attempt #1

Did i mention that i found out that my guy is actually in his 30s and SINGLE???

That's right........SINGLE!!!!!!!

Muahahahahahahahahahaha

I even found out his name but of course i shan't reveal that here. A good friend of mine knows him so a few weeks ago we went over to MPH to introduce me but unfortunately he was not there.

At this point i'd like to point out that me and my friend were already in Gurney having dinner at Chillis and i did not go all the way to Gurney's just to be introduced. So you can put the Stalker Alert sign down.
Now!

Anyhoo.....today i went over to MPH cos......errmmmm.....darling Lawrence wanted to get something for his daughter *cough* and HE was actually there!!!!! Hee heee....

So of course i made up some excuse to go talk to him...asked him if they had some book on Nietzsche so that he doesn't think i'm all boobs and actually do have a brain. :p

He's lost a bit more hair but he's never looked more handsome! He's also got the sweetest eyes ever....the ones that are actually looking and listening and not secretly trying to catch a glimpse of your boobs; and the gentlest voice that could just make you melt! Oh and that smile...........the most pleasant smile ever.......*am i making you nauseaous yet??*

Anyway there i was gazing at him, all the while trying to form coherent sentences when i swear i almost asked him out! Like seriously!!!! I just almost blurted it out.....was really on the tip of my tongue! I don't think i have ever felt such an urge to ask someone out...well except for Warrick Brown of course, but geography........and reality.........kinda got in the way of that!

As soon as i realised that i was at risk of making a total arse out of myself i ended the conversation and high-tailed it out of there! He probably thought me the oddest female alive but...well.....he's Indian.....he should know our kind.....us female indians that is

As bummed out as i was that i didn't get to ask him out i'm still all giddy like a school girl that i got to talk to him. Hopefully Attempt Numero Dos will be better...i suddenly remember i forgot to ask him a question on Aristotle.....hee heee..........*fingers and toes crossed*

Snippets #4

So i finally finished my proposal!

HURRAH!!!!!!!!!

Made it 72 pages long so that they can't say no to it....heeheeheeheehee.....but if anything things are just gonna get a whole lot crazier now.....man i just can't wait to finish with this bloody course...taken half my life with it!

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Dazzie took me shopping the other day to get my first Xmas gift...a gorgeous pair of heels from Charles & Keith. It's like 5 inches high and is embellished with rhinestones...so Dazzie has christened them my Whore Shoes. Hee hee....me likey a lot! The shoes, not the title....

My shoes :p

So anyway as we were leaving (we had to park in the Premier car park at Mid Valley cos everywhere else was full) we of course had to stop at the ticket payment booth on the way out when Dazzie turns to me and says :

Can you take off your top?
What the mother??!!!!!!!
The machine says 'Flash Here'
Hello!!!! That's obviously for the season card holders!
No no. I think if you flash them they'll give you a discount. Can you just do it uh? Why else do you have such big boobs??!


I tell you if i had a dollar for everytime someone asked me to use the 'twins' to get out of a summons or to get a discount i would be a millionaire la...seriously!

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I talk so much about lastik-ing people that Chang actually bought me a sling-shot at Cash Converters! Hahahahaha. Such a darling la the boy.

So anyway we had gone for Kavi's sister's wedding and he brought the sling-shot along to give to me. Bala (yes that bugger from Waikikis) was the guest performer at the wedding and of course we made fun of him through-out the night. Me and the gang hate him with a passion cos for the past 20 years he's been playing the same shit in the exact same sequence! And would you believe it...he actually did it at the wedding! I mean come on! It's a wedding la. Enough of your thilana thilana! So Dazzie suggested we lastik him...which i was totally on board for.

Anyway we left the wedding quite early cos Chang wanted to watch his MU match. So we made our way over to Bangsar and while walking to the shop, Chang and Dazzie were actually trying to lastik the road signs. I mean....can u just picture that?!! Two 35-year olds....dressed in formal gear....lastik-ing road signs....in Bangsar!!!!!! I tell you i wanted to crawl under a rock and hide la! And they never even got close to the signs k!
Shameful!

But now Chang is insisting that i actually lastik the birds outside my window...but you know what?......i don't think i have the heart for it la.
Hmmmmm.......I know what you're thinking......Saby is part human after all.......worrying.......very worrying....